I am finally emerging from a 4 year battle with crippling chronic fatigue, pain, & mystery illness symptoms, on top of the uterine health challenges I’ve had since my mid twenties.
And I cannot begin to describe the way in which these last 4 years have changed me as a person.
When my illness first came on, I went through a devastating period of grief.
I couldnt dance, exercise, eat (just about anything), or walk more than a block for months on end!
- I had terrible insomnia.
- I broke out in strange rashes.
- I had joint pain so bad, my elbows would buckle in downward facing dog.
- And it honestly felt like my life was ending.
Sitting in this state of absolute helplessness, it felt like my body had become a prison.
I cannot even describe the suffering, it was so intense.
And yet, I knew that this was an initiation…
That something deep and profound was taking place.
During this period of physical immobility, I opened to profound wisdom streams of the primordial Mother –
Birthing the teachings of Hathor, awakening ancient wisdom of the “Mother of Civilization” –
(Sometimes it felt like I was “dragging it up” out of the hellish underbelly of “The Empire” through my own body!)
I also rectified a nearly 5,000 year karmic cycle that was keeping me bound to this planet…
Deeply facing my own shadow, cutting through attachments & delusions, & reckoning with many negative actions taken in the past – including past lives.
I watched in awe as about half-way through that process (where I learned to live mostly house-bound & secluded – feeling very isolated )…
Suddenly THE WHOLE WORLD was plunged into a nearly identical state (as me) when COVID emerged.
It was at that point, when I…
- Realized I wasn’t alone
- That this was a global phenomenon. A global cleansing.
- That my “sickness” was connected to much larger dynamics of toxicity in the world
- And that actually it was a manifestation of my PROFOUND sensitivity…
- Some might even say “giftedness” or “prescience” – in service to humanity, as a dakini…
That the “suffering” portion of being sick was eliminated for me.
And that’s a very important part of the healing process!
The Bodies of Those Who Are Gifted, Highly Sensitive… And Especially “Priestesses”…
Work Differently Than Other Bodies
It’s important to know that if you are gifted, highly sensitive, or someone with the dharma of a “priestX” (witch, healer, medicine keeper, etc.)…
That your body may work differently than other bodies.
You may need more rest. You may have more environmental sensitivities.
You may thrive better when living in nature, or in specific eco systems or parts of the Earth that align more with your specific purpose of service.
When you are “sick,” that manifestation of dis-ease may be connected to things much greater than yourself…
Ancestral burdens, collective energies, the pain of a specific person or group of beings…
I can clearly remember once in my early twenties, my housemate’s nephew & his friend came back from Iraq. They were soldiers returning from war, and they had seen some devastating things.
We shared Easter Dinner with them…
And I spent all night and half the next day vomiting & in severe pain, from contact with the pain they were (secretly) in.
– > Know that your suffering may not be “your own.”
Especially when it comes to the times we are in now, many of us are processing things well beyond the individual level of consciousness.
And this means we may need different levels of support for our systems.
My vomiting & nausea didnt stop that Easter until I read the Bhagavad Gita the next day…
And Krishna’s words to Arjuna – as he balked before the inglorious task of going to war with his brethen – and Krishna helped him see it was his duty…
Was the only thing that could pacify the retching sensation in my body.
– > Pain is one thing. Suffering is another.
We can be in pain, but not suffer.
We can be exhausted, joints aching, fever, headache, dry eyes, tumorous womb – whatever the case may be…
But still be in bliss.
And when we find this “freedom from suffering,” this bliss…
It often leads us to the physical healing as well.
My Body, the Cosmos: Mysteries of Esoteric Embodiment
If you are interested in diving deeper on this subject: The Bodies of the Gifted…
And how collective energies, Earth Changes, world events & cosmic energies can impact personal embodiment on the Priest(ess) Path…
As well as how you can anchor grace, support the Earth, & the raising of collective consciousness through somatic wisdom & your own personal practice of embodiment, I am hosting a class Monday, May 30th on the New Moon on this subject.
My Body, the Cosmos is an immersion to the mysteries of esoteric embodiment, for women in service to the sacred.
In this class we will cover:
– An orientation to the Cosmic Body & anchoring collective wisdom through personal embodiment
– Signs & Symptoms of expansion into planetary, collective & cosmic bodies
– Special needs of those anchoring Cosmos through personal embodiment
– Protection practices – in body, mindset, environment, sexual partners, close company, & one’s actions
– “Somatic Service” : shifting collective consciousness & healing the land through personal soma & the feminine temple arts
– Women’s bodies & the Earth – purifying sacred sites, lei lines, planetary energy centers, & global events through somatic meditation
– Awakening from identification with the body through total somatic Presence
For more information & to sign up, click here
And remember: wherever you are in your embodiment & health journey, I hope you take to heart…
That sickness is not “your fault”…
And that coming into contact with the deeper wisdom, connection, & attunement to your own (and sometimes the world’s!) unique needs and lessons that chronic pain, illness & sensitivity is elicting in us all right now…
Is ultimately a path to purpose.
And that yours may involve the mid-wifing of a planet! Lineage! Soul Family! Lover! Group of People! Or Friend!
Just as much as it is your own birth into a new level of awareness.
I know my 4 year journey with mystery illness was that for me…
And I am ecstatic to finally find myself in a place of balance, with a fair bit of mastery on many levels that were before unintelligible to me.
Receive everything as a gift, and so shall it be!